...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
