Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
