Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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