I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
