You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
