I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
