Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
