The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
