he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
