just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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