We're like a lot better than the average bears
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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