we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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