U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
