i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
