Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
