Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
