Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
