Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
