i just wanna soil my oats bro
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
