need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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