he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Randomize
