i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My vagina just recognized that song.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
