I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize