Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
