Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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