Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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