worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
