Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
smell my finger.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
