I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
