I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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