i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think people are normalizing furries
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
