Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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