hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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