brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
