you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
