Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
me + whiskey = a bad person
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
