I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
