Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
