You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
