Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
