One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I wear drunk well.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
