well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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