hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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