Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize