porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
