Too much gin, very little bucket
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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