I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize