well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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