My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The struggles of a small town man whore
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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