I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
