Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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