i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
