Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
