no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
