Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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