I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
