somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
