you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize