3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
