piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
