3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
