HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
