how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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