So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How does one acquire holy water?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
