yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just tell him i said nine months
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
