went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize