It's Friday. Sex?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
we should paint friendship bongs
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