Nicole vs. Life
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
